i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I love having hate sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
