My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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