And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
