another moral hangover. fuck.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
