it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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