Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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