Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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