I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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