You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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