Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
