We're facebook friends in real life
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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