If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize