anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
