check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
