it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
