its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
