Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize