I am puke
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
