dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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