So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
did i just pee glitter
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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