just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
