I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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