Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
