I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
