Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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