If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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