I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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