I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
