I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
