Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
