whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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