You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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