i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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