look no pants
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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