What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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