so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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