do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
