When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
