we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
