drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
