Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Panties = found
Randomize
