Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
FUCK WHALES
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
