Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
smell my finger.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
