how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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