My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize