Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
