i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
