whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
