Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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