You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my being single is dangerous.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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