After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
