I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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