Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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