sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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