How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
