Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
