hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
