So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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