Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't deserve a penis
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize