Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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