Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
