i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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