Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
