are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
