Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
