nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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