im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
