i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
