Quick, to the slutcave!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
