It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
