So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
