peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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