she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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