No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
