If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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